sometimes...

Sometimes I wish we never met

This world that we lived in was just an illusion

just a mere canvas painting displayed at a museum

a snow globe that will only come alive when shaken

those short fiction story you'll find inside a newspaper

sometimes..I wish it was just a dream

goodbye 2009

Another Year is passing us by

we leave behind the past and look on to the future

praying and hoping for a better tomorrow in him

sadness overwhelms me, of the way I felt that time

I wish for it to be different next year,

no more sorrows when I hear your voice.

Winter. 12/22/09

Cold night winds brought me to tears

sounds of crickets kept me from my sleep 

I remember our pact, it made me sad

knowing it is only in our mind, never in reality.

you know it better than I do, this thing with us will never come about... 

"Blue Xmas"- by Bright Eyes

close minded?

As believers we were taught to forgive, it may be hard sometimes but that's the best way to move on.

I've said this numerous times to myself and to my friends, at times I would forget and even hate the whole

concept. All the conflicts make my stomach sick, drama's that I don't need in my life popping out of nowhere,

gives me a headache! I become defensive and at times hopeless... before I realize it, I'm back to square one.

I'm reminded of how close minded human can be, ignoring the problem, and just running away from it.

Current Obsession.

The flavor of love

Can love really be define by it's flavor?

If I had to answer that question, then I would say

The taste of LOVE is 'Bittersweet'

yes, it is both bitter and sweet.

these are the moments that we'd most likely remember and look back on...

at the same time there are those that we choose to treasure

and maybe later on, for whatever reason, want to forget.

After all these years...

Passado todos estes anos penso que estou pronta para deixar.

Tudo que pensei que pudessemos ser era apenas um sonho

Quero seguir em frente e parar este sofrimento

Eu não mereço esta dor, esta dor que me consome

Nunca quiseste saber,nunca tiveste e provavelmente nunce irás ter

Esta é a minha despedida.....

cred. H.Silva :) 

I hold my Breath, and bite my lips

unrequited love? 

such love can only be understood by someone who has been through it. 
Painful.
heartbreaking.
breaks you down to the core. 

------------------------------------------------

acceptance.

learning to deal with reality.

positive attitude.

distraction.the future.

^these are the good qualities to obtain while getting over that one person.

------------------------------------------------

finding appreciation in yourself.don't dwell on the past.too much grief is not good for the soul. if it helps, ask yourself "Why would I want to give my 100% to someone who will never love me back?" y/n?

nonetheless  I wish I could learn the choreo to that song, it's o0o so good!

Surrender

Mind is elsewhere. Silence is what I need.

Head is full of unwanted thoughts. Eyes filled with red lines.

Droplets lingering my cheeks.I feel so far from you yet again

Ashamed.Apologetic.Embarrassed.Unworthy... to the core.

I have no sense of direction. It's a dilemma!

I wish to disappear, just for a moment, to where I can surrender to you...over and over again

My kind of Xmas

The other day there was rain, water droplets decorated my window.

Hot cappuccino in one hand, as the scent of peppermint invest the room.

At times like this I wish for the simple things...

Sounds of fireworks, twinkling lights in every corner of the streets.

Laughing and being merry with Family and Friends,

Reminiscing the good old days as tears begins to form.

I miss the traditional Xmas, knowing the real meaning that's being celebrated.

I miss going to different houses, eating delicious food made from scratch.

I miss longing for that moment, where family arrives waiting to see you and kiss you "Hello".

good things like these are to be cherished, these are real blessing that we should all be thankful for...  

(oldies but goodies -Dec 7, 2008-) "This indescribable reward"

This unfailing thoughts that still lingers in her head

...shall she weep about it once more?

seeing you through her unwanted blurry mirror,

only to find hidden feelings surfacing ... shattered feeling, with no meaning.

Have she found you?

the path that she had chosen was vital to her own helpless feelings.

did going about it quickly make it all not worthwhile?

Ignoring all her thoughts made her so undeniably breakable.

that wittiness she once longed for oozes in triumphant; flying yet so far unreached to the touch.

tell her now oh great one! where does she go about finding this indescribable reward ?

can't stop the feeling

What is the right way to go about it?

When everything you've tried seems to go to waste

Denying everything, putting it aside doesn't work.

Keeping yourself occupied makes it even worse.

Thoughts are always leading me there

Should I just admit it to myself and say it out loud?

Listening to : Jan Geun Suk "Without Words"

P.r.o.m.i.s.e.s

Promises are meant to be kept, I think we can all agree to that.

don't break it, especially when that person chooses to trust you once more.

take advantage of it, you could be missing out.

don't ever forget it, you might just end up regretting it.

 those chances comes once in your life...so don't let it pass you by!