Towards you

what I'm holding on to is flying away

the wind blows to the east

while I sit here waiting for the mist

aching feeling of what is to come

scared out of my mind, will it be won?

I need an answer, something to ease my mind

selfishness of this soul, only visible to you

forgiveness is at its very end, you've always known

looking towards you.. I find my heart pouring out unconditionally.

Hosana nas alturas

and so the girl prayed

Dear Lord,

I am here, waiting, hoping for you to call out my name. Lord, I want you to use me in any way
you can, that is the greatest gift you can ever give to me. This world is full of hungry people
dying to know your words...Am I good enough to represent you? even in the smallest way possible?
let me be useful lord, I want to live my life glorifying your name. Let me feel your grace work through me, feeling peace and love with others, singing out beautiful tunes towards you...'Hosana nas alturas' this is they way I want to live my life, for that is the only way to the kingdom of GOD.

with love,

lover of god

"He"

Only time will tell

How I'm able to comprehend

all this emotion without breaking

I am strong in him, forever and always

HE knows me more than you

HE loves me more than you

He's my savior in all that I go through

Strong Faith

Don't have much to say today

but I leave you with this

"We say it with our mouth and believe it in our heart...that is FAITH"

the end?

don't understand how it all began.
what I feel for you is sincerely the truth.
you've no idea how much it pains me,
seeing you there looking out but not to me.
I wish I was stronger facing you,
i'm lost when i'm with you, falling deeply, no longer in control. Hating myself for it made it even worse. Knowing you don't care, i feel so lost. Why am i being like this? I don't even know...i wish that you'd just get out of my life, maybe that would be better.

not to me

Coming into my life was a mistake

I hate to be the one to break it...

you've ruin me inside

I've shield it with no success

you're the only one capable of such travesty

just leave me alone, don't say anything anymore...not to me

our seperate way

Realization came too late

My heart was already in half

letting go of you is never the plan

seeing you happy is the only way...

our road has ended for good

now we shall go our seperate ways

where he wants us and know we'll get there in his time.

Reaching out

You've always held your ground

I'm digging in but you don't want to be found

It's always hard and never easy with you

What we choose to do seems to only shatter in darkness

The time we share, it's always ringing out

It's not to late to be found, I'm here reaching out.

10/20/09 Tuesday.

there's no end

It has always been you,  the one standing at the End.

there's never been anyone like you, kept looking but there's no End

my heart don't flutter for them, it's now frozen in time.

thought it was over, till you came to me unnoticed

why is it always like this? why only us?

it's hard to just walk away, for what seems to be a routine

I can't tell now..... how it's going to End...My Heart can't seem to comprehend.

10/18/09

this time around

Through the years, in all it's worth

You were never near, for all I know

in my heart, I had you buried

only to come around, when I feel lonely

This story of ours seems to never end

...don't know how to get over it, this time around.

only he knows how, where, and when? 

will I ever get the ending I long for & want. 

10/17/10 Saturday

Loneliness Abide

The words just seems to be lost

expressing it will never seem to last

there will be no more next time for us

because words are meaningless with no action 

we're unaware of just about everything

I'm waiting nearby, loneliness abide..

this is how it began, so this is how it's going to END.

Thursday 10/15/2009

Whirlwind mind

It's like being stuck in a whirlwind of distress

Feeling is out of control, searching for an answer..

yearning for some peace of mind, crying all the while

melodies of my mind ringing out tunes of some  assistance

You're there, looking down at me with love and assurance...

My father here I am, My Father here I stand ..do come and take me away

where do you draw the line?

This longing feeling never seems to disappear

in this cold weather, I wish your voice would appear

sounds of water drops on my window is all very real

sitting here, music swaying ...I reminisce of you

I've come to realize you will never come my way...

this heart of mine is playing with my mind

What do I do to make myself draw the line? 

Tuesday 10/13/09 

Inside & Out

Inside & Out you know the real me.

with no doubt in mind, I'm saved & redeemed.

this is what you've done to me, this is what I've been wanting.

to be unconditionally LOVE, even when I neglect and forget you're always watching.

10/11/09  "Happy Sunday"

I'm saying goodbye

This thing we have has worn me down

What's done in the past should not be brought up

It's killing me inside but I'm learning to let go

Knowing the future is not present for you and I

I now realize you were never mine

Someday we'll meet and know what happen was for the best

This is my Goodbye, I'm now Saying "goodbye" even though it's tearing me apart

10/09/2009

Every Struggle...

With Every Struggle, peace of mind I find in you

feelings of sorrow, strangling every veins in my body

you've touch me, made me feel your holiness is besides me

love is on the move, looking up to you I feel it too

finding you is where I should bow down and pray

moving forward, I'm on my way home back to you

nothing left to desire..

It's all a facade, it's not made of brick, this face could break in any minute.
seconds, now minutes ticking by, she's waiting to be save in time


however long that may be, please know that she'll always be there in spirit.
 
her loneliness cannot be beared with, she's losing it now with no sense of regret.
 
feeling neglected, no love, no passion left for desire...
 
heart stopped beating, ears have stoppped listening, eyes cannot see the light
 
drink it down, purge it out, the sensation doesn't seem to last...

Lost Sunshine

...Sunshine where have you dissapeared to now?

darkness has taken over me, the lights has gone away in sight.

scared of what's to come, indulging the bad is comfort for now

letting it out as if it's just air, feeling redemption is in need of a hand...

lonely wolf needlessly suffers alone, no friends, no foe, no prey left to find.

am now alone, searching for an answer... seems like losing the faith is the only answer.