Hope

My heart is breaking, for my loved ones are suffering.

only in you will I give my life

you are infinite, more than I ever need.

be with us in this time of sadness.

for Hope and Perseverance can only happen through you my God.

Glory is to you

Coming forth and confessing all my suffering.

holding it all in just wasn't going through.

Learning to love myself is what I've long to do.

through pain and suffering, I want to prevail all evil.

Grace is given to me for free, you've saved me once again for all I do.

oh GOD all my glory is to you, the one who came and kept me anew. 

the obvious.

Sometimes you wonder why you holds on to the little things,
even when it's complicated, you choose to stray away from him and ignore the obvious.
you sing & declare to live in him, but in the end doing the opposite.
you come to realize in the end you're still hurting,
not feeling any better than before, repeating the same thing all over again...
then you wonder why haven't anything change? why do you feel like you're always stuck in a rut.
then you cry out to him, asking why is this happening to you? what did you do to possibly deserve this
type of punishment?!? ...God is never punishing you, he is clearly showing you that you have ignore all his signs of love towards you, choosing to be in denial, not trusting in his words. God is always with you, he's always in your heart, but he gives you a choice to seek him, because he will only come to those who seek in him. God is always there, present inside your heart.

MY.

My Walk with you will not be easy but victorious.
My Faith will be forever more richer than all things seen.
My Love growing bolder and stronger in your name.
My Hope in you binds tightly and never ending.
My Life I live for you till this day and for all eternity. 

Love and forgiveness

(rough translation of my cousin's Indonesian Quote)

In the calmness of the heart, there is honesty.
when there is no richness, there is an abounding heart.
In a lifeless body, there is a confident soul

this Life is beautiful, when LOVE is present!

sometimes the eyes is misled,
sometimes the lips will deceive,
and at times, the heart will judge...

still this Life is beautiful, When you learn to FORGIVE!

(The Indonesian version)

 Dalam keteduhan hati,ada ketulusan budi.
Dalam kemiskinan harta,ada kekayaan hati.
Dalam kerapuhan raga,ada ketegaran jiwa.....Hidup ini indah,bila ada Kasih!!!.
Kadang,mata salah melihat.Kadang, mulut salah berucap.
Kadang,hati salah menduga.... Hidup ini indah,bila ada Pengampunan!!!.

He's REAL

He keeps loving me throughout this ordeal.

His affection are real, it's crystal clear

His presence is always present, right there to be found

His love is planted in my heart, growing every single day

He's always there, he never disappears.

infinite love

She knew nothing more than what was taught.

no real experience to come and say it out loud.

the night it happened, all she could do was call out HIS name.

throughout the days, weeks, months asking...

why was such pain and suffering  held against her?

mixed of emotion, scared out of her mind, confused what she had done wrong.

this was all part of his plan, for her to realize his love will never end but infinite. 

In Time of Sickness

O Jesus, You suffered and died for us; You understand suffering; Teach me to understand my suffering as You do; to bear it in union with You, to offer it with You to atone for my sins, and to bring Your grace to souls in need. Calm my fears; increase my trust. May I gladly accept Your holy will and become more like You in trial. If it be Your will, restore me to health so that I may work for Your honor and glory and the salvation of all. Amen.

hold my own

I want to be strong, be able to hold my own.

standing up tall and proud of what you've made me become.

showing the world infinite capabilities blessed by you,

loved and the peace of mind I once longed for graced by you.

where?

she is  heartless, there's no sense of direction.

hunger, thirst for you love in this time of misconception.

she's stuck in a rabbit hole, no way out.

confused, mind in a ramble, all she could do is cry her eyes out.

where is the rope? to pull her out...

where is her strength? to build her confidence once more

where is her heart? to keep her going

where is her faith? to keep her from straying

where is her god? he's always there, waiting inside her heart.

to a new beginning

Here's to a new beginning, a new different feeling.

feeling of peace and tranquility, the kind you wish for eternity.

what's done is done, there's no such thing as a reset button.

everything has passed and the lesson is learned.

he knows every mistake that has been committed 

erased every single sins, coming to repent is what he longs for you to do.

He is present.

What is there to love more than that of the one who saved us.

laying here, praying and hoping to be forgiven.

in silence but not in restlessness.

shedding a tear, but in him it's all right.

he see's through the hurt, the fear, the loneliness of your heart.

he hears your cries, your praises, even in the silence of the night.

YOU, the one hungry for LOVE, look for him every minute,seconds of the day.

He is present today, tomorrow, through infinity and beyond....

Remember

Is this really time to say goodbye?
It seems like forever doesn't exist for you and I.
can you just erase me from your head and mind,
I don't want to be known as the girl you broke apart.

 I pray that you'll at least remember me,
as a friend or maybe even a girl you've met along the way,
but know it in your heart, I have no regrets but only love,
like you once told me, that one time when we said our goodbyes.

a light will shine on through

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, so they say...

Why does time seem to skip a turn, a prisoner of its own term.

The horizon so far in the distance, just how much longer till the pain wither.

Contemplating her very existence, what this heart needs is more than just a reason.

Looking up, she's waiting to be rescued,

 ...hoping in that very moment, a light will shine on through.

we'll soon be forgotten

     What it all comes down to in the end, is nothing but a dream.

We'll soon be forgotten, disappear in this moonless night.

The thought of your kiss, warmth but burns deep inside my sleep.

When will my freedom come, when will this suffering come to an end.

.....I'm stuck, not brave enough to face the truth.

come say it to my face,don't hold anything back, for this is your last chance to make it right.

Blackout.

Too young, that must have been what was on their mind...

without them knowing, the memories will haunt them till the end of time.

blackout, they're avoiding what's there from the start.

the taste of it, the feel of it, it's still fresh.... buried in, inside of their mind.

the future, can it come soon enough? before they realize is now to late to react.

too young to feel, that must have been what everyone thought ?

who really knows right? but the two restless mind

................... time will come soon enough

before they realize, they were meant to be, right from the start.

what do you call this type of suffering?

Too much to say, it's draining everything inside my head.

A broken heart, A Broken mind, too much has been mistreated.

world is caving in, what do you call this type of suffering?

The sky turns blue, this heart just won't concur. 

I've done and said all I can, slowly now... falling deep.... so blurry...

nothing seems apparent anymore .....

pretend

...Thinking slowly, breathing heavily, the heart is still not steady.

suffocating my mind, every single thought is apparent to the heart.

Ignoring, but knowing it's slowly breaking into pieces...

the heart is pretending, possibly in denial of everything..

fear of what's to come ahead, scared of falling to the ground.

the crack was obvious from the start, ready to break...any minute..any second now...

...we're better off this way

It's all so twisted and difficult

..didn't realize goodbye was this painful,

maybe this was all part of the plan

everything would end just as fast as it started.

this time it's for real

there's no more words to reveal.

no more wondering and hoping

there's no more tear left to shed,

I think we should end this for good... we're probably better off this way anyways.

..time will tell

      Your words were like missiles, aiming straight for my heart.
..without hesitation, I sat there confused, but more appalled. I had no clear response, too
caught off guard to even react. You were so confident in your words and I was too
embarrassed to admit I wanted you from the start.
...that night we let everything go, was the night I've learned to realized it's now too late to stop,
it's now or never, we've became too attached. You kissed me hard, I could almost feel my nerve detached.
The feeling was so real, I didn't want it to end. How and Why these questions still lingers? like they say...

I guess time will tell, No?